Korean Culture Snapshot: Pregnancy and Raising Children

The first, and main, topic of this cultural snapshot is the topic of pregnancy in Korea. A couple questions will be asked about child upbringing. I had the help of one of my friends I have made during my time here, and she graciously allowed me to interview her about what pregnancy is like in this country! I will summarize her responses to each of the questions I asked. But before I get into the interview, let me give some background with some statistics about babies and fertility here in Korea.

On average, a woman in Korea will have one child (the national average is 0.78 per woman), so it is very uncommon to see a family have more than one or two children. Some couples never have children and instead have a dog or two. Korea is almost to the point of no return, where they will not have enough children to fulfill the current working positions in the country, since there will be more retiring from their jobs than new people being hired, in the next several decades. Some hospitals have even gotten rid of their pediatrician clinics since there are not enough children to see!

Q: Compared to the United States, Korea seems to have different accommodations for the women who are pregnant. What are some of those accommodations?

OBGYNs will give a little pink tag (picture below) that the ladies will have on their bags

or person when they are out and about. This tag gives them the ability to sit in the pink, specialized seats on subways and buses. They may also receive a 10% discount on KRail tickets and 50% off for 2 people’s tickets through SRT (another train system in Korea). Each city is different, but in Pyeongtaek vouchers are given to the expectant mother, through the city hall, for baby items and postpartum care.

Q: Are there any common old wives’ tales that are believed in Korea?

Yes, in Korea there is a term called 태 몽. These “birth dreams” are dreams that come to relatives or close friends to the expectant mother, or future mother. It is typical for dreams consisting of fruits (peach, watermelon, etc.) to mean that someone will be having a girl, and those consisting of animals (goldfish, tiger, etc.), mean that someone will be having a boy. Sometimes the relative has this dream before the expectant mother knows she is pregnant, or the relative looks back and realizes that a dream did occur to them before the baby was born.

Q: Are there certain foods or drinks that are unique to Korea, recommended for pregnancy? And are there any superstitions of food or drinks that you shouldn’t eat or drink after you give birth?

During pregnancy, and even after labor, seaweed soup is highly recommended for mothers in Korea. But pumpkin, ginseng, and ginger are not recommended and frowned upon for consumption during pregnancy. Many doctors believe that a woman’s gums are softened after labor and therefore do not allow the mother to have hard foods after giving birth! This includes no crackers, and for the spice level, no kimchi. Also, for the 100 days after giving birth, it is looked down upon for the mothers to have any iced drinks!

Q: Is the expectant mother’s main option to have a hospital birth, or are home births or midwives a thing in Korea nowadays?

Koreans almost never have home births today, and midwives are not really an option. One of the reasons for this is because the majority of Koreans live in communal living, such as apartments or villas, so a home birth would be frowned upon. Hospital births are the main option, and almost 50% of Korean mothers have c-sections.

Q: I’ve noticed, and think it is lovely, that people, especially the older generation, love to dote on the young children here in Korea. Why is that? Are there any common sayings that they tell the little ones?

It is mainly because little children are not as common in South Korea, so it is a joy to see young ones, for the older generation. There is a common saying that is told to the child, but aimed more at the parent, which is “the child is cold.” It does not matter what season it is or what the temperature actually is outside, even if it is in the middle of summer and the humidity is 100%, some elderly will still say it to a parent.

Q: After giving birth, how long does the mother stay home with the child? Is there a period when the mother and infant stay in the home instead of going out and about?

It is still common for a mother and her new baby to stay at home for the first 100 days after the birth, a mother will get stares from people out in public if she does not. But in South Korea, there is a care center option for new mothers after they give birth. She can attend it for anywhere from 5 days to 3 months after the birth. The most common length is a 2 week stay. The stay is normally covered by the city hall, which may determine how long of the stay is covered for the mother. At this center the mother gets the postpartum care she and the baby needs, while also being taught how to care for a new infant. (If you want more information on this, there is a k-drama show on Netflix called The Birthcenter that does a good job showing what this center does, with drama of course.)

Q: I’ve heard that there is a traditional ceremony when the infant is 100 days old. Is there a name for the ceremony? And what are the common traditions that occur at this event?

The history behind this ceremony is to commemorate that the infant survived the peak sickness stage. In the past, it was common for infants to not live past the first three months of their lives, before modern medicine, so the infant would stay at home with the mother until they thought the chance of the infant dying from an early sickness would pass. This ceremony is called 백 일 (literally 100 day). It is common for a party to be thrown where the baby is dressed up and given a rice cake.

Q: What is the daycare culture like in Korea? What ages tend to go? Is it common to place your child in daycare?

Daycares are very common here in South Korea. It is actually required that all apartment complexes have a daycare for the children living there. The parents have to apply right after the birth of their child, if they are interested in utilizing daycare, and the baby typically starts attending daycare at 6 months of age. There are lots of working moms, and the child is typically a daycare attender until they start kindergarten.

Q: Are babysitters common in Korea?

It is getting more common, but they are actually just hired to watch the baby while the mother rests at home. Hiring babysitter is not as common and typically not used the same as it is in the United States.

Q: In Western culture, it is common for children to be raised with an independent mindset, in opposition to Asian culture. Is that still commonly seen in Korean parenting and families?

The family culture here is slowly changing and being westernized to think more individually. The tradition mindset of family-oriented decisions clash with the education mindset that South Korea now has, where each child needs to strive to be the best they can with the subject they choose.

Q: Is kindergarten a thing, or do children start school in the grade levels?

Yes, alongside normal kindergarten, there is something called outside academics. These are after school academic clubs to further the education of the child. Children, even at the kindergarten age may come home late, like in the evening, especially in the bigger cities, like Seoul.

Q: Are there any parenting styles or norms that Korean parents do that you don’t see in the American culture? Or anything that may be unique?

Spanking is still fairly normal in South Korea. One difference is the respect that is taught towards the elders here. Children, even at a very young age, are taught to bow to their elders when they greet them.

Q: Is there anything else I didn’t cover that you think is worth mentioning?

There is really no homeschool community in South Korea. And because of crime rates going up, parenting is changing. An example would be that instead of helping others (the elderly, picking up a dropped wallet, etc.) children are taught to be more cautious.